At the center of where?

It's of course about placing things in the center.

Amsterdam was so bright and airy. I recall bikes. Other things I remember: beautiful men and women riding everywhere on their slender bikes, and the city, brightly-lit and well-ventilated, filled with people constantly riding away into the distance, a calm expression on their faces and a cup of take-away coffee or a mobile phone on their left or right hand, depending on which one they use to steer their bikes, and that, now, is a problem with some degree of philosophical depth, a deeply meaningful question, even: with which hand should we steer our lives? Right or left? In either case are we really steering it?

And yes of course it's always about placing things in the center.

At the center of my life is... so many things. I don't dare to mention names for fear of jinxing it. You get older and you veer towards superstition because it's kinda comforting. Or you google symptoms fearing your small ailment might mask full-blown cancer. Sickness and death, always at the back of your head. So you seek God. You read books by Carl Sagan or people who claim to know the truth, and you lean on people who are firm, knowing that you are not so firm yourself.

A few themes repeat themselves throughout your life. Again you are scared of being too specific. Religion, for one, permeates your life, even though you consider yourself unreligious. It is a sense of mortality, I suppose, that makes you a better person. It makes you feel the ground, the solidity and realness of it, and reminds you repeatedly that life is not a neverending play. The one thing you know and understand is that plays end, sometimes abruptly and without a coherent conclusion.

At the center of where again?

What a mystery.


September 19, 2011 at 11:12 PM Amelia said...

This is so beautifully written. Now I have to think about what's in the center of my life.

Amsterdam is a fascinating place.

September 20, 2011 at 5:34 AM Samantha said...

Your writing is as beautiful as how your shop used to be.

Unpretentious and quietly comforting. Thank you.

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