jack kerouac & allen ginsberg: the letters

"I wanted to be a saint. But suffer for what? Illusions? ... Next the rest of India & Japan, and I suppose later a trip: England, Denmark, Sweden & Norway, Germany, Poland, Russia, China & then back home again. And that'll be the end of that world, I'll be about 50, the relatives'll all be dead by then, old ties with the boys of your be loosed or burnt, unfaithful, in so many decades it's best to let it all go - is Jack drunk? Is Neal still aware of me? Gregory yakking? Bill mad at me? Am I eve here to myself? I daren't write it all down, it's too shameful & boring now & I haven't the energy to make a great passional autobiography of it all ... I guess I have nothing to contribute to general edification by this vague haphazard slow motion death." - allen ginsberg, 'indian journals'

now this is a book i really need to possess.