i have a few childhood memories that i'm very fond of (for someone with such poor memory of everyday life, i actually have a stunningly good memory of the past - this is characteristic of old age i guess), like going to the neighbourhood swimming pool with my siblings and cousins.

i remember details about those trips, like the smell, the way the lights shimmered on the surface of the pool, the exact feeling after every trip. what's even stranger is that i still remember how i felt then - the sense of sheer hope and uncomplicated joy, standing at a vantage point from which the rest of my life spreaded out, like a piece of white paper on which nothing had been written yet, full with so much promise, so much hope. it was amazing. it makes me want to cry.

when we finally grow up, we forget what it was like to have such unadulterated joy and hope. we lose the ability to feel pure happiness, little by little.

as we grow older, everything becomes heavier.

that is the sad thing about life.


July 27, 2009 at 12:58 AM Anonymous said...

Sad but true.

"Like all things in the universe, we are destined from birth to diverge. Time is simply the yardstick of our separation. If we are particles in a sea of distance, exploded from an original whole, then there is a science to our solitude. We are lonely in proportion to our years."

July 27, 2009 at 3:29 AM monster said...

you write so beautifully.. such a poignant post. i think we can all relate to how we can't grasp the experience of "happiness" anymore, happiness now is shallow, brief and fleeting

July 27, 2009 at 6:24 PM Anonymous said...

maturity and knowledge gained = infantile faith lost

July 28, 2009 at 12:43 PM Cookie Cutter said...

Yeah, that's true, more responsibilities, more worries... but maybe sometimes we're allowed "breaks" so we can let it all go and allow the child in us to surface.